It was a game we’d talked up for a week, ever since the tournament schedule was released. Our team would be playing a team from New Jersey, one of the best in the region. They were undefeated. We’d drawn them in a seeding round in a tournament that happened to not have a tiered playoff like usual. Basically, it was win or go home.
Carter got the start on the mound.
I’d spent the days leading up to the game building him up, telling him it was business as usual. Before he took the mound that afternoon, I told him to not leave a single pitch on the field. He said he wouldn’t, and jogged out to the mound.
The first inning, he was dominant. No runs, one hit. He doubled up a runner from the mound on a soft line drive. Both teams traded runs in the second and, by the time he took the mound in the third inning, we’d had a small lead.
Then he received his first balk warning. The next batter reached on an error. The field umpire took position over Carter’s right side and watched him every pitch. The balks kept coming. The runners moved. After a walk, another runner did the same.
Parents started yelling at the umpire. He insisted Carter wasn’t stopping in his motion (a balk happens when a pitcher doesn’t stop and “come set” before throwing). As his dad, I knew he liked to work fast. I tried to slow him down. Our coach talked to him. Parents were yelling, the other team was yelling, people were getting restless.
In one look from the mound I knew he was done.
One of my goals in 2020 is to live a year in less Offense. Pastor Erwin McManus described it as freedom and the ability to trust again, to go deep in relationships and community.
Do you know anyone who is perpetually offended? Every breath is another opportunity to make them angry? It’s not an easy relationship to be in. I work in an office with individuals who put in 40 Offended hours a week, every single week.
Personally, I err towards cynicism. It’s a trait I’m looking to change in myself for the new year. Optimism is the key, the idea that change is possible. Living Faith as a verb and not a noun, an act not an anchor.
I’m looking to gain the 20,000 foot view. Cynicism is easy. Doubt is easy. Burnout is easy.
The challenge that shapes us into new people is to remain hopeful, to see opportunity, to work towards what we are called to do, to marshal our anger when it’s needed.
Change is hard but worth it. I believe 2020 will be a transformative year. I’m ready to reshape the husband and father I am into what I can be. All it takes is time.