Today is my graduate presentation and reading and I am writing this post in between them. I’ve made a lot of friends in Fairfield University’s MFA program and one of the perks of the residencies is catching up with people you haven’t seen in six months. I just had a conversation with a friend of mine named Josh who is part of my graduating class. He is a brilliant writer and a brother in Christ. We were talking about graduation and he said that it will be a weird feeling on Monday; the sense that something has ended and something new is starting. I totally get it.
I’ve had many first steps in life. They are moments you never forget. I remember the first day of college, of marriage, taking Carter home as a baby and wondering what we do from here. It is a mix of excitement, fear, and expectancy. God takes us to first steps for a reason. It can be a transition from a job, a home, a toxic relationship, and possibly a church. There is a sense of mystery with first steps. We don’t know what is coming. We picture the end result but, in reality, it is a mystery. We believe that God’s hand is guiding our path and making it straight.
Tomorrow I’ll walk in the graduation. We’ll go home on Saturday and, as he said, Monday will be the first day that I haven’t been a student in a long time. I’m sad for the passing but thankful for the moments and memories. I’m still believing that good things are coming. There will still be hills to climb (I’m still waiting on my test results.) and time never stops. We can only make the most of the minutes we have.
The fear is gradually fading away. The excitement is building. I hope that Carter and Aiden will be proud of me one day. That’s my goal, that they will look up to me and that I can set a good example as a father. This is another First Step to get there.