When it Isn’t You

We all face events that change our lives.  I can tell you the night I knew that Val would be my wife.  I remember proposing to her, the wedding, and the honeymoon.  There is a list of ups and a list of downs.  We’ve had our struggles. Eventually you find a rhythm with existence.

Then it happens.

You get laid off (as I did in 2008).  A family member passes away. A loved one becomes ill.  These experiences leave you asking, Why Me?

Or maybe you’ve experienced the other side.

You get passed over for a job or promotion. That person you know, the one who could care less about reality, suddenly gets what they want. You’re checking Facebook to see a stream of new houses, new cars, and new children and you can’t conceive. These experiences leave you asking Why Not Me?


Here are two things to keep in mind when jealousy or suffering threaten to clamp on your life and both can, if around long enough, destroy your marriage and family.

1/Everything happens in time: The Scriptures contain various sections about suffering.  The early church faced persecution on a massive level.  The Emperor Nero lit his gardens at night with the bodies of believers. Faith is born in suffering.

Suffering ends in time. Not necessarily the time we want, but it will be when you need it.  I’ve written before about my visit to the Hope Rescue Mission in the city of Reading, PA. Frank, the assistant director, told me he believes that when they need something it will happen and he has more than one piece of evidence to prove it.

Free furniture to furnish thirty rooms, a new floor for their kitchen, new showers for the dorm that houses almost sixty homeless men.  All provided right when they needed it.

God is faithful and always on time.

2/Empathy- As a parent, you become hardwired for empathy.  You look at your children and feel every bruise, cut, and emotional injury.  You hurt when they come home and talk about a bad day at school.  You put yourself in their shoes and try to help them handle what they are facing.

Use this in life.

Most people you meet are self-centered.  It is human nature. The camera is on us, all the time.  The fight is to turn your glance outward.  Empathy can help in cases of both suffering and jealously.

Keep your heart open, even if it means coming to terms with success for someone else.

How have you handled situations where you found yourself asking Why Not or Why Not Me? Let us know in the comments and share if you enjoy it!

~Matt and Val

1 thought on “When it Isn’t You”

  1. […] Bad relationships are plastered all over the media. There are numerous apps and websites centered on making connections at the swipe. You can message, or call, a connection in minutes. This creates good and bad situations. It creates expectation.  It creates options. Options, if they don’t work out, can be catalysts for defeat and shame. […]

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