Faith vs. Fear

Imagine, you’re on a boat with this guy who you’ve followed around for a few years now. He’s sleeping below deck.  A storm blows in.  Not just any storm, a perfect storm-a George Clooney passing by on a fishing boat-kind of storm. Waves tossing and turning. Guys are getting sick.  They look at each other.

How is he still sleeping?

Just when the water starts breaking on the deck, when people slip and fall and are getting pulled towards the depths, when all hope is almost lost, the door opens.  He steps out.

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” ~Mark 4: 35-41

There is a fine line between faith and fear. Maybe you’ve lived there? You come home from work dreading the mail for the next set of bills.  Every text message sends a chill down your spine.  You spend your moments waiting for the bad news. There is a line in the Bret Easton Ellis novel, Lunar Park, that resonated with me:

The main character said that every intersection felt like a traffic accident waiting to happen.

I’ve spent years there.

So tonight, I made a choice.

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I’m done with fear. I’m done with worry. I’ve been handicapped too long by a focus on what I don’t have, by the numbers in a bank account balance. The fear feeds the doubt and questions and waves that pound and pound the shore. It is not a surprise that one of my repeated dreams is standing on a beach watching massive waves as they approach.

They say dreams of ocean waves are a sign of change coming.

So tomorrow is a new day.  I know that the enemy stalks like a lion. Fear will never give up.  Doubt will always be waiting for that prime moment to strike. The fight isn’t over.

I believe that God will provide. I believe that, in serving, we find our calling.  I believe that we are called to faith in the midst of the struggle. God meets us in the moment of our biggest fear, when the wave crests over our heads and we feel the first drops of water.

We know the one who walks on water and always remember that his hand is reaching out to pull us above the waves.

~Matt

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