Fill in the blank:
I AM A ________
Think about it. Not so easy a question for most people. We tend to identify ourselves by our jobs, position in life, gender, location, or any number of factors. Our identity is shaped from our youngest years. Carter and Aiden will use these days as foundation for their journeys into manhood. What happens when your answer is changed by something out of your control?
I always wanted to write. I mean, I had phases like everyone else (I was a huge X-Files fan and wanted a career in the FBI to investigate the supernatural). My mother always had a book in her hand and shelves of them ready for access. I took to words and felt a void when I wasn’t in the midst of reading a great story.
I spent years as an undergraduate and grad student studying writing. I’ve published short stories, novellas, and a novel. Yet, there are days I hesitate to call myself a writer. It took research, discussions with friends over coffee, and obtaining my MFA from Fairfield University to give myself some permission to take on the role.
In this process, God kept tapping me on the shoulder.
I believe our gifts are given to serve and be given back in offering. I wondered if, rather than chasing the next best-seller, the words could be used to inspire and make a difference.
In the moments of silence, the voices will creep up and whisper in your ear. Really? You? Why do you think you’ll be successful?
What if you fail?
Failure can shatter your identity, but there are ways to fight it.
If these questions hit a nerve, if they create more questions and you find yourself stuck in the midst of insecurity, always remember:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17– Be assured of your salvation. Know where you stand and know your answer to the most important question. Know that time will pass and, one day, you will face your maker. When I’m struggling, when the waves seem too high, I rediscover my anchor and hold on tight. His words and salvation calm the storm. When you are drifting, find the bottom line and build from there.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28– Everything you do is important. Every small interaction counts. Every day makes a difference. You are called to a purpose and, if you are unsure of what it is, pray. God will reveal it to you and, I believe, you’ll find it closer to your heart than you ever imagined.
We had a chance to worship one Sunday morning with Jarred Anderson and sing this song live. It is powerful!