No Sleep

I’m a night person. There’s something about the end of a day, the quiet and peace of the dark.  I remember, growing up, laying in bed and listening to the sounds of the night outside. When I went to college, I would stay up late for a variety of reasons.  Val and I would go to dinner, then to a 10:30 movie, getting home at 1 in the morning and not think anything of it.

There was no kids, no serious obligations, and we had all the time in the world.

Oh how things change.

We had Carter and he went through the usual getting up at night that comes with being a baby.  That passed and, just around the time he turned two, he started getting up again.  He hasn’t slept through a complete night since.

We’re talking four years.

Aiden just had his second birthday and he’s a mixed bag of results.  Some nights he will sleep and some he’ll be up for a few hours at a time.

As you can imagine, not a lot of energy in the house right now.

We are desperate for some peace.

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It has been a draining week, days filled with issues and problems to solve.  If you have children, you know what nights are like dealing with kids who are tired.  They get a new and special kind of crazy when they are fighting to stay awake.  Then you finally get to bed and attempt to rest until you hear, “Daddy, will you sleep with me?”

I don’t know the last time I felt true peace.  C.S. Lewis wrote about believers having a divine discontent, knowing this isn’t our home.  He is right. We don’t settle for the trappings of the world as we push towards the realization of grace. We know the battle is already won, we know that we can have peace because Jesus has overcome the world.

These days I feel like Paul, constantly moving, writing this book, fighting issues on multiple fronts for our family, and doing it as a servant refined by suffering.

For now, I’d just take a night of sleep.

8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Maybe some day.

~Matt

Soundtrack Inspiration:

 

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