Val and I have spent sixteen years together and, in this May, we’ll be married eight years. As I normally do in the mornings, I found myself browsing the news today. I came across an article titled 9 Small, But Overlooked Things That Put Your Marriage At Risk Every Day. Besides the title that, somehow, made it through an editor, the author had some interesting points. You can find it here.
The author, Suzanne Jannese, writes about talking to each other, offering encouragement, and uplifting your spouse. One thing she mentions that stuck with me was a point about reaching the Roommate Stage.
When the kids arrive, the Roommate Stage is way too easy to find. We burn our energies at jobs and childcare. We run to the playground at night, chase kids for two hours, and come home exhausted. Date Nights fade from the calendar as one week goes to the next. You start to finish thoughts and sentences for each other.
You move from trying to impress your spouse to pure survival mode.
Finding the mystery in marriage is important and not easy. The Date Nights must reappear to the calendar. Whether a local restaurant or a big time concert. Go somewhere new and discover your next romantic dinner.
Work on yourselves physically and emotionally. Val and I have started a program recently. It may only be an hour or so a few times a week but, it is time we are guaranteed together.
The key is to have a foundation before you rediscover the mystery. Comfort is not a bad thing. All relationships have peaks and valleys. Some days, the mystery is how Val has the patience to deal with me and the boys. If you don’t have a well of love and connection to draw from, the search for mystery can put lethal stress on a marriage.
I’m blessed to say I’ve found a partner to search with me.