Unsteady

Today was one of those days.

If I had a dollar for every blog starting with the same concept written today, I could stop working and fill more digital writing with similar material.

We put through almost 240 patients at work, an endless sea of faces with a selection of ailments. It was a shift where you just stop thinking at a certain point and start laughing.  I heard every possible complaint at least six times, driving home and looking in the mirror wondering how I survived.

This compounds into a general unease I’ve felt recently. The cards haven’t fallen our way. We seem to stop taking up space and start getting ignored.

As a writer, this feeling is usually my internal radar saying it is time for a new book to read or write. The muse gets frustrated and bounces around inside until he finds what he wants.

For others, it can be much worse.

pexels-photo-66100

There’s an entire industry devoted to self-help and direction. Writers and speakers cash in on our need for someone to tell us what to do. You can’t throw a stone on Facebook without seeing a sponsored add about leaving your job to do what you love by working five hours a week and starting your own business.

The bottom line falls on what you believe.  How do you see life when things get hard?  When those days pile up to months and years. When the kids don’t get easier, the bank account doesn’t grow and the people you need don’t answer their emails.

It is not all rainbows, even for those of us who try to follow Jesus.

We pray and we memorize our verses. We know our promises and “stand on them” even without grasping the meaning of the phrase.

I’d love some solidarity at the moment, some solid ground and a clearly visible foundation. Until then, the fight continues.

We live, even unsteady, and do it again tomorrow.

~Matt

 

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One thought on “Unsteady

  1. I enjoyed your blog, Matthew! I hope and pray that you get what you are seeking and need! Love, Aunt Sandy

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